Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
tell me about the eggs
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