Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I need to stop coming to work sober
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
