its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
