# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
