Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  guess who came home with a hottie last night

  (1-805): View more from California

  Def drugged

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  (805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (817)
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  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (591) Bad night (1855)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.

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  (570): Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high. http://tfl.nu/0v2t
  Replies (35) Good night (6659) Bad night (1289)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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  (704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t
  Replies (26) Good night (9047) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me

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  (256): dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me http://tfl.nu/p9kn
  Replies (21) Good night (3599) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?

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  (214): Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night? http://tfl.nu/uwcg
  Replies (20) Good night (2757) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  her body is proportioned like a family guy character

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  (716): her body is proportioned like a family guy character http://tfl.nu/ptef
  Replies (15) Good night (1298) Bad night (3996)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left

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  (918): I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left http://tfl.nu/o2bv
  Replies (1) Good night (1894) Bad night (853)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking

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  (503): ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking http://tfl.nu/1308
  Replies (6) Good night (1358) Bad night (360)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

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  (208): Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere http://tfl.nu/5ite
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (468)
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  (+81): View more from

  And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.

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  (+81): And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through. http://tfl.nu/ei8m
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.

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  (734): I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first. http://tfl.nu/6gn4
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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  (574): Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn. http://tfl.nu/7jbp
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

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  (845): So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/55s3
  Replies (5) Good night (1085) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.

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  (480): I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it. http://tfl.nu/0k0k
  Replies (8) Good night (829) Bad night (217)

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