Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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(412): I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God. http://tfl.nu/yxgi

Replies (34) Good night (1226) Bad night (2699)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket

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(606): I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket http://tfl.nu/uu8e

Replies (53) Good night (1083) Bad night (4522)
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(914): View more from New York

Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

(1-914): View more from New York

It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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(914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq

Replies (55) Good night (8808) Bad night (986)
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(949): View more from California

they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store

(949): View more from California

I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.

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(949): they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store (949): I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on. http://tfl.nu/06qo

Replies (33) Good night (1307) Bad night (3999)
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(478): View more from Georgia

She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

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(478): She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks http://tfl.nu/vee8

Replies (22) Good night (4761) Bad night (1710)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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(604): I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you. http://tfl.nu/twb2

Replies (20) Good night (1844) Bad night (6950)
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(416): View more from Toronto

No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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(416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a

Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (2829)
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(801): View more from Utah

How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?

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(801): How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service? http://tfl.nu/0xho

Replies (3) Good night (1633) Bad night (913)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single

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(613): I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single http://tfl.nu/27nu

Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (538)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

(503): View more from Oregon

He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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(503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d

Replies (9) Good night (1763) Bad night (484)
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(512): View more from Texas

You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."

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(512): You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid." http://tfl.nu/wv53

Replies (4) Good night (1896) Bad night (498)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

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(717): You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING? http://tfl.nu/nnf3

Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (387)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt

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(604): you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt http://tfl.nu/zjh0

Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (275)
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(313): View more from Michigan

He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.

(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.

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(313): He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over. (313): I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked. http://tfl.nu/vnqs

Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (398)
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(310): View more from California

I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.

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(310): I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends. http://tfl.nu/6v2p

Replies (6) Good night (347) Bad night (360)

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