I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.