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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  If that was your dad, he is hot

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So glad I found your sister.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG

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• (721): View more from

  I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.

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