I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up