My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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