so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
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Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????