Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I love black thongs

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  (586): I love black thongs http://tfl.nu/wvjn
  Replies (8) Good night (1745) Bad night (554)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

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  (917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0
  Replies (11) Good night (2282) Bad night (642)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  my computer doesn't work...

  (619): View more from California

  why?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i puked on it last night

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  (419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb
  Replies (4) Good night (904) Bad night (2466)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wait... oh

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  (401): dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM (616): Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek? (401): wait... oh http://tfl.nu/kgtx
  Replies (9) Good night (3407) Bad night (882)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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  (850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh
  Replies (23) Good night (4605) Bad night (837)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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  (847): just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out http://tfl.nu/k8ty
  Replies (7) Good night (4954) Bad night (1191)
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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  (661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42
  Replies (22) Good night (5227) Bad night (1826)
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  (845): View more from New York

  he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

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  (845): he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/o5gt
  Replies (37) Good night (6511) Bad night (1446)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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  (561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4
  Replies (3) Good night (2340) Bad night (876)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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  (860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g
  Replies (4) Good night (1248) Bad night (909)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.

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  (850): Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class. http://tfl.nu/j52p
  Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (652)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

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  (920): Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations? http://tfl.nu/lkp9
  Replies (8) Good night (1457) Bad night (479)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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  (717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36
  Replies (7) Good night (1166) Bad night (591)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW

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  (417): THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/z4i2
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (384)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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  (423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1095) Bad night (391)

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