O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
