I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
