We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
