Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
