I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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