I will die if light touches me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
