You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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