i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
