dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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