I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
