saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize