we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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