he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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