Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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