It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
