Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
