DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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