Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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