OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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