this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
