I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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