How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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