hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
