The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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