I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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