Did you just see the Batmobile???
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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