Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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