That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize