is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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