Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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