I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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