chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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