is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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