Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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