Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize