tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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