Plan B is the new Plan A
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
