Someone shit on the floor
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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