check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
