Dual....:-)
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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