I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
