i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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