I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.