Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha