On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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