Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
two words...techno handjob
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?