YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.