I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got