I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
