Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
