If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize