I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Even my vagina gasped.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
