escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
the raccoons are back...
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