i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
