i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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