I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
