So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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