She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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