Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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