This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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