Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
