Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
