Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
