watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
